This is the blackest day in the history of Boston sports.
Never has a city named hero the way Boston has crowned Tom Brady its king.
When he doesn’t do well, it’s like watching Charlotte die at the end of Charlotte’s Web. ‘Tis a sucky feeling, my friends, and one that we are all coping with today.
I was planning to wear my custom made Gisele Bundchen Pats jersey to school today, but we lost. I think the most difficult parts of this for me are:
1) I couldn’t wear my Gisele shirt today.
2) I can’t skip school for the parade, because there isn’t going to be a parade.
3) Since the season’s over, Tom and Gisele are probably going to leave Boston, which makes us all really lonely.
4) Tom and Gisele CRIED. Which is something I never like to see.
THERE IS A TWIST.
You see, this is the 3/4 point in any good football movie when the player in question is at his lowest of the low, looking like he is about to lose everything.
And then, he strikes back.
I know that you are probably thinking the last Super Bowl was that moment, but Tom Brady still has two seasons (and maybe an extension, Mr. Kraft?) left on his contract. It’s too early in the movie for that–it throws off dramatic timing.
We would hate for him to win this now, and have two or more uneventful seasons, right?
The Bible tells us so. Patience is a virtue. We are still on the exodus to more Super Bowl wins, but we will get there. And Tom Brady will be just as good looking then as he is now, just as he was the last time we won.
MANY PEOPLE ARE READY TO CROWN ELI MANNING THE NEXT TOM. HERE’S WHAT I HAVE TO SAY ABOUT THAT:
1) He has to share all his glory with his brother, who probably feels worse than Tom Brady right now because this is all he’s going to hear about until he wins another Super Bowl.
2) Tom Brady is way, way sexier.
3) Tom Brady is married to GISELE BUNDCHEN.
I MEAN, REALLY, WE WANNA CALL THIS GUY A LOSER?
Tom, if you have an affinity for gnomes and you read this blog, I just want to let you know…
We have never and will never give up on you.
PS-I love you.
PPS-If you and Gisele wanna adopt me, that would be alright.